OF DUMSOR AND VULTURESBy CAMERON DUODUFollowing the news can be a most soul-destroying exercise. But can we ever avoid doing it? The world will march on unconcerned, reducing the money in your pocket day after day, whether you follow the news about how and why your poverty might be increasing, or not!Trump won!
The Electoral Commission chose to appeal to the Supreme Court over the disqualification case, although one didn’t need to be a lawyer to conclude that it had no case.
And Ghana lost to Egypt 2-0 in a World Cup qualification match, bringing memories of how low our football administration has sunk, what with the dollars-by-aeroplane episode in the last Word Cup competition in Brazil.Isn’t that enough to becloud one’s morning?
No! You haven’t seen anything yet! Here comes a headline that can drive you over the edge unless you hold tight to your seat in the seatbelt-less-trotro vehicle that life has turned into in Ghana:
QUOTE:
“Vultures cause power cut – ECG explains recent dumsor [incessant power cuts]
“The Director of Operations at Electricity Company of Ghana (ECG),Tetteh Ankamah Okyne, says the power cut the nation is currently experiencing is due to the activities of vultures and other birds…The company disclosed this last week when the Public Utility Regulatory Commission convened a meeting among the power producers, including VRA, Gridco, ECG, Asogli, among others, to ascertain the cause of the power cut being witnessed in Accra and certain parts of the country. As usual, the power producers and Gridco put the blame at the doorstep of the ECG, which, in turn, put the blame on the activities of vultures and other birds.
“The power cut being witnessed in Accra and certain parts of the country is due to the activities of vultures and other birds and we are working hard to address the problem,” Mr. Okyne stressed. Ghana has been facing a power crisis caused by a deficit in power generation for the past four years, forcing the country’s power distributor, Electricity Company of Ghana (ECG) to run a load-shedding programme.
“Several businesses have complained about the debilitating effect of the power crisis on their businesses. The energy’s sector problems have been tackled … for years but have not been resolved. On the contrary, performance has been declining. “I must say I was disappointed because if the vultures get angry now then the whole country will be engulfed in darkness,” Jimmy Johnson, a concerned citizen has stated, adding that, this is bizarre and shameful.” UNQUOTE
My involuntary reaction, when I read that, was to explode into Fanti, although I am not a native Fanti speaker: ‘Ebei oh!’
I could just as easily have broken into Ewe and said ‘Tso!’
Or ‘Mini serker sane ner?!’ in Ga.
And so on and so forth. Or in plain English, “What the f@*k!” You get the picture.Why the expletives? It’s because not only does the Chief Operations Officer’s explanation for the latest episodes of dumsor sound extremely unlikely but in proffering it, the gentleman assumed that members of the Ghanaian publicare so stupid that they would swallow any lame excuse that emanated from someone like him who is clothed with a grand-sounding title.
Well, I have news for him. The Ghanaian man-in-the-street is so savvy that he’s been asking questions of an immensely relevant nature, some of which I shall have the pleasure of relating to him presently.
First question: how many vultures attacked the cables which he says caused the dumsor? Did they attack as individuals or did they hatch a plot and come as an army (echoes of the film The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock?)
Second question: was this the first time vultures had attacked electricity cables? If so, what type of carrion has the Electricity Company been employing of late to coat its cables and pylons with as to attract the creatures?
Third question: aren’t high-tension pylons and cables supposed to be insulated to prevent a successful curtailment of their performance by man and beast alike?
And finally, how long has electricity been produced and distributed in Ghana for? Why is this the first time we are hearing officially that ‘vulturematics’ have affected operations to such an extent that they have caused a crisis which the Chief Operations Officer has found expedient to relate to the public? If such incidents have occurred in the past and yet the Electricity Company hasn’t been telling us about them then what’s the relevance of telling us now? Does it not suggest that in the past incidents such as that were thought — and rightly so — to be too insignificant to relate to the public?
Now suppose such things really do happen: why hasn’t the company been able to put an end to them? What are we to think of such a negligent Company and its officials?
When I read what the Chief Operations Officer had said, I thought at first that maybe he wasn’t qualified for his job. But a quick check of his biography established that he holds a Bachelor of Science Degree as well as an MBA! WHAT? And yet he could say a thing like that?
I am completely baffled. Of course, he will probably think it odd that members of the public are “ignorant” if they refuse to accept his explanation. Well, before he says that, let me relate to him some of the things the public have been saying and let’s see whether it is he who is ignorant, or they: (See:)
QUOTE 1:“These fools think that every Ghanaian is stupid and foolish like that? [Let] them … continue lying; nobody cares! They can even burn ECG — who cares? Mmoa [beasts] like that!”
QUOTE 2: “TWEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! ”
QUOTE 3: “I guess these are NPP vultures (!) and birds sent to sabotage this [NDC] Govt? Your lies will catch up with you.”
QUOTE 4: “Today, vultures. Tomorrow, I guess it will be the wind, followed by spiders, cockroaches, termites and even later on, mosquitoes. The authorities (government) should stop undermining the intellect of the public.”
QUOTE 5: “This is a lie. Vultures are Gh. and Gh. is vultures. They never had anything to do with lights since inde[pendence]. Why Mahama time? Nonsense!”
QUOTE 6: “Is that how low you take us for, and this sounded good in the ears of the PURC?”
QUOTE7: “WHEN THERE IS WATER SHORTAGE, THEY BLAME IT ON TILAPIA. WHEN THERE IS CORN SHORTAGE THEY BLAME IT ON WATER. NOW ELECTRICITY TOO, THEY SAY VULTURES!
QUOTE 8: Poor vultures and birds, they cannot talk and defend themselves. THE CAUSE OF THE DUMSOR IS THE INCOMPETENCE AND THIEVING (insult deleted). They have blamed everything from water to oil to gas but continue to leave out the main culprit the incompetent (insult deleted).
QUOTE 9 : LIES, LIES, LIES, LIES, LIES AND LIES. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE FOOLING? YOURSELVES! STOOGES AND IDIOTS
QUOTE 10: “Sometimes I feel ashamed to see these news headlines b’cos if any of my non- Ghanaian friends see this, they will just laugh; especially when I keep bragging to them about how advanced Ghana is!” ENDQUOTES.
COMMENTS:Wofa,
There you have it, I was incandescent yesterday cos when I was in Techiman and I saw hard working folks all over the place fixing the cables at their peril ‘cos The top Man was visiting.The electric poles even got painted- all blinking lights fixed..Was impressed – working in scorching sun with dangerous high voltage cables – only the brave can volunteer for this risky job.Like you know, most of the electrical engineers come from Kumasi Legon, which was my stomping ground on free days. Lots of friends, school mates in the industry, ..can you imagine their morale today, to this vulture nonsense tarnishing their good works.You put your head on the table: “Agyawaadwo!” What kind of affliction is this??Vultures causing power outages and chief huncho never got any pictorial images to buttress his case??Ashen-faced poor folks wondering: are we also paying to listen to this garbage in addition to all the rotten carcasses still smelly in powerless freezers and fridges…?I remember a very good friend on getting a top job in the energy sector, promised to seize all generators in his ministry if they don’t get to help him get the job done. He was equally going to banish dumsor. Well I presume the vultures got there first, prompting one to question: is there something in the Castle waters?Sane men suddenly spewing gibberish in broad day-light….(Hahaha don’t accept any drinks from the castle!)The old adage still rings true: “If u are dumb and you know it, don’t open your mouth to let the rest of the world know how dumb you are. If this guy keeps his job, you know it’s because there are equally brainless top vultures! He can’t be on his own, can he??Whoosh! We are well and truly fuckered,by vultures and dwarfs of the vengeance kind, covering sheer incompetence with brazen effrontery. Banish Dumsor, on this evidence? Don’t bet on it!!R
COMMENT:
K,
You asking the Bossman to explain?? I guess you didn’t get the memo!
My own Honourable Minister is on record: “Evil Dwarfs are depreciating Ghana New Cedis”
With my jaw nearly hitting the floor; I asked: how is that possible?? The retort was quick and swift…”Why are u always asking questions?? Listen Sonny, we do not owe u or anyone else any evidential-based Powerpoint illustrations. Any fool can see the Cedi is the fastest depreciating currency; except Prez Mugabe’s million notes!!
Doc, to ask is to incur the wrath of them top dogs…incredible as it may sound, people still believe in this charade.
Pity the journalists who give oxygen to this nonsensical press conference…their credibility.??.Some journalists only turn up to collect their “payolas” in league with their editors mantra: “Cover this event, else adverts will cease coming!!!
As they say. Be your own judge; don’t believe these bonkers; they will drive you mad.
R
